trying to communicate...

I havent written in a while. I guess I havent been able to successfully channel my thoughts into one coherent piece. But that's okay; I am writing now, about what? I guess you'll have to find out!

"I didnt mean that"...I said to some chick in my dream. "then why the hell did you say it?"...she retorted. Even though the context of the dream is absolutely irrelevant to the point I am about to make, I couldnt help but wake up and be baffled at the complexity of communication. Human relationships rely on the success of communication between parties. Verbal language, body language, and their lack thereof all come together as the things we 'say' to each other.

I tried to do some research about how many words there are in the English language. It was futile, so I came to the conclusion of about, somewhere around, infinity! Counting all the different lexemes, compound words, and dictionary entries would prove insane, so I just guessed the amount of words available for human communication cannot be numbered.

ok..so why all these? I am constantly baffled at how we cannot find the right words to express how we feel, and sometimes say what we do not mean, as I did to the pretty lady in my dream. There are some people that are master communicators; people who know exactly what to say at the right time to the right person to exude the right reaction...I am sure you know, or have met someone like this before. but the majority of us constantly try to find the right words to express our current feelings and emotions.

But what is it about human emotion that makes it so hard to express? We think in words, true, but we do not feel in words. Our thoughts are basically just our conversations with self and imaginary company. But feelings however do not happen in words, it doesnt elude to rational thought and explanation.

"I feel happy, I feel sad, I love you, I hate you, I feel stupid, I feel like a million bucks". These are all wordified emotions, these are emotions put into understandable words. Its like translating from one language to the other, from Hebrew to English maybe? Sometimes we are able to say how we feel, but does it mean that we are able to say everything we feel? Our uncounscious translation from the language of emotion to the language of thought, i.e the language of speech sometimes leaves out the things that really need to be said--the things that are really felt, and some things do get lost in translation.

I dont know if I am making sense to anybody that might be reading this. Again, it might be that I am not communicating effectively. But as humans, I find that we are constantly travelling between those worlds- how we feel and how we say.

Comeback

I got hit by a train

Caused 107 casualties

But I felt no pain.

Not me…I'm impervious,

Mind of steel, heart stone cold,

self doubt is not obvious;

Enchanting mettle, easy to uphold.

Now, I'm reaching for something,

But I look at the mirror,

and I see nothing.

I feel the sutures coming out,

Now it can beat well again,

Take in my blood and pump it out.

Yes! It beats well again.

What does if feel like?

Great I say…

Everybody loves a comeback.

And I'm back, anew,

Great, prime and strong,

Like Lance Armstrong,

But with two.